Thursday, December 1, 2011

An Observation

I find it interesting how one bad experience can leave a very bad taste in your mouth for sometime and  not only do that but change your perspective. Case in point.. My Mr. 

My Mr. dreamed of being a police officer when he grew up. He started by joining the Army after high school and spent 4 years defending his country. During this time he married (not me) and proceeded to work towards entering the police academy. He filled out all his paper work, went through the interviews (both he and his wife) and took a new career path towards that dream. The day he was to start was just to much for his young wife and she had a break down and went into the hospital. So that door quickly shut and his dream of being a police officer ended. When we met he still had the desire but by then had a good career but would often talk to me about how he missed that opportunity and how different his life might have been. It was a boy hood dream so I am sure it was a little hard to let go of....

But now this same man who desired so much to be a "cop" can't stand them!!! Well at least most of them, and WHY??? you ask. Because of a bad experience with one bad cop! In order to understand I will have to take you back several years...

My Mr. loves to ride a bike (motorcycle) even on the coldest of days you will see him on his bike.  On this particular day he was to attend a funeral with his Aunt. It was an emotional day for her and he being like a son (as she has no children of her own) wanted to support her and be there. So on his way back from the funeral  to his office his shirt blew up while a cop was driving behind him and his gun was quickly seen. Now about the gun. My Mr. has his conceal carry and has since it has been legal to do so in Kansas.

(Now you need to understand that in order for my Mr and myself to get our C.C. we had background checks, through the State, FBI & Home Land Security. We were finger printed, went through 2 days of training, had to shoot and score correctly in order to have this privilege plus pay for all the fees. When all said and done cost about $400.00).

Now when the gun "flashed" my Mr had no idea and was less then a couple of miles from his work So imagine his surprise when as he pulled into work  he was followed by 3 police cars. Coming from both the West and the East
Lights flashing, cops yelling. 

Not knowing what the heck was going on (was he going to fast?)  he quickly tried to remove himself from his bike and  was told instructed yelled at  to "Put your above you head!"

 Well the problem with that is "you can never just put your hands up" when you ride a bike. Because  if you do said bike that weighs several hundred pounds will proceed to fall over and possibly fall on you!  SO because he does not yet have his hands in the air he now he has 3 guns pulled on him as more cops continued to pull in. (Total one police bike and now 4 cop cars are in this small drive). 

In front of his office 
. Where ALL his co-workers are watching AND " he" just attended a funeral... 
(I can only imagine the rumors that must have been flying in that small office!) 

He is trying to explain that he can't just let go of the bike as it will fall and if they will let him put the kickstand down he can do as they are demanding. Finally got the kickstand down, hands in the air and he is immediately  handcuffed.

Now you must be thinking what kind of man did I marry! 
Did he rob a bank? 
Is he one of Kansas's biggest drug dealers?
Did he MURDER someone?????
His shirt blew up and on his hip in the holster his gun was seen for a brief moment by this one officer.  Now this is same officer is yelling at him
and telling him that he is breaking the law!!! Handcuffs him, takes his "boyscout" pocket knife. 
(...seriously!?! his pocket knife!) 
And sets him on the curb handcuffed for over an hour! 

They run his ID. And what do they find on him.... ZIP, NADA as in

  And during this time he has also explained that he has a legal  right to carry the gun and they have seen his CC license .  SO does this stop the MADNESS? Give a quick and embarrassed apology?
Absolutely NOT! 
This ONE  cop continues to berate and yell at my husband that it is illegal for him to flash a gun and HE  has the power right to have him "thrown in jail right now for doing so" and have his CC revoked to where he can never own a gun again!

  Well long story short they had to give him back everything they took the hand cuffs and let him go.  WELL DUH!!!!  This one cop has finally left and another officer  is taking with my Mr. and tells him he is sorry for the rough time he had to go through. He agrees that my husband does not control the wind and in no way lifted his shirt for everyone to see his legally, owned and registered  gun. And that there is no way they could have thrown him in jail.

Well from that experience on my MR. has never looked at cops the same. And actually considers most of them bad. This "one" jerk of a cop abused his power. And it is so sad that this kind of thing happens all the time. I never believed the horror stories until my MR. (law abiding sales engineer) went through it.

Now my Mr and I do not see eye to eye on this subject as I am still so grateful for every man and woman who puts on a uniform and defends me and mine, and you and yours each day. I am so thankful that there are those who put it ALL on the line to keep us safe. But is it not  interesting  how quickly ONE person who choose to abuse their power can change the perspective of another...  And a little scary to realize that in one way or another we all can carry that power...

Monday, September 19, 2011

Loving my OXO!!

Oh how I love OXO Candela! I just got them 2 weeks ago in my BUZZ kit and I love them. What is this great product that I am crazy about????

rechargeable candles, ok without the smell but with all the mood!

I bought some hurricane glass lamp covers that slip right over the top and they are beautiful! Bonus no mess, no batteries, NO WORRIES!!! You just set them on your rechargeable base and like magic they are ready to go for another 8 HOURS!

(Wish I had a rechargeable base!)

Anyway you must check these out. You will not be disappointed. Anywhere in the house where you want a little more light but want to create a mood, these are perfect! (The hubby and I love them..wink wink)

Have a little one who is afraid of the dark? Use one these. They don't burn, don't spill are made of plastic (I think) and will go with them.  So if they need a potty break in the middle of the night they pick up and take it with them. Talk about a night light that is user friendly!    Ohhhhh and did I mention they turn on and off! These really are a great asset to any home. Check them out today.... you won't be sorry you did...

Monday, September 12, 2011

We Will Never Forget and My 11

Yesterday marked a sad Anniversary for our great Nation, and I as many others remembered and honored those who were lost. The familiar saying, "Never Forget" was quoted often and for a moment I was  saddened, ashamed, and grateful. Have "I" truly remembered? I remember that day and the days that followed of Americans coming together. Everyone was wearing flag pins, had flags in yards, businesses, and had magnetic flags on cars. You could not walk anywhere and not see our pride for our great Nation. Our love for our country men, the soldiers who were giving their all so loved.... It was on the radio, in the malls, and mostly in our actions and hearts. It was "WHO WE ARE" and now I look back just 10 years later and I wonder did I forget? NOT that day. It will forever be one that I carry, but that pride, that feeling of being an American, proud, humble, grateful.

So here are MY 11....

1. I will never forget what my freedom cost. When I am grumpy because I have so much to do and don't want to spend the day at a job I picked, I will be grateful that someone I never will know gave their all so that I can be at a job "I" picked. Doing what I want to do, being who I want to be.

2. I will never forget to thank  the soldiers who keep that freedom alive today for me,

my family and for you. If I don't agree with the politics of the day I will still always HONOR the men and women who are giving their all to protect this great place we call home. I will donate blood if they need it. I will do something in some small way to give back to them just a little bit of what they give to me.

3. I will never forget that I can weep for a stranger that I have never met. I will never allow my heart to become cold or bitter and forget that humanity is what makes us who we are not money, or career or fame.

4.  I will never forget when I am pulled over for speeding by a fellow officer doing his job it was brave men like "him" who RAN into a building that everyone else was running out of. That on that dreadful day it  was men like him who showed HONOR and BRAVERY who did their job until the end. And I will give him the respect he deserves and his job has earned him. After all I am the one breaking the law not him!

5. I will never forget how it felt to be that scared. Fear can be a good thing. It can motivate and bring about change. It can remind us that we are human and that each day is special and we need to do the most with it.

6. I will never forget how proud I need to be of being an American. And with that comes the task of doing good. Making my community stronger. Smiling at a stranger, lending a hand when one is needed. Making a sacrifice for another. There are so many ways I can do that. Small but still there. Work at the food bank, donate a dollar here and there, pick up a piece of trash someone else threw down. Small but each makes a difference.

7. I will never forget how grateful I was to have my family near me. I have been blessed with some of the most amazing people in life. And when those towers fell, I was blessed to have all my family safe. To hold them, kiss them or talk to them if far away.

8. I will never forget how fragile life is... How quickly someone else can take it away. So I will protect myself and those I love. I will not be ashamed to stand up for them or myself. I will not let FEAR control my life like I did that day. I was a zombie and then a maniac. Reacting to everything in all the wrong ways. Letting my kids see me unsure of everything around us. Never again will they see that person. I will prepare and keep myself aware of all that is going on in the world.

9. I will never forget the BRAVERY of those on the plane that stood up knowing it would be the last thing that they would ever do. I want to be brave like that. I want to choose the hard things that are the right things to make others safe and know that my actions now might lead to something great in the future for someone I never even knew.

10. I will never forget how close I depended on God

and my faith to see me through those scary first days. How the Lord is in control, and this is "HIS" world. He loves us and he always will. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people. It is just the way the world works. It just is sometimes... but PRAYER was said everywhere. People everywhere were going to church, reaching out to God, leaning on him.  Praying for those they knew only by a picture or name. I will never forget how amazing it felt when our Nation was depending on our Father to see  us through.  When we were taking him everywhere instead of trying to keep him out of everywhere.

11. I will never forget that we were a community UNITED in a cause. We wept together,  prayed together, we donated blood, we gave all we could afford to others who were in need. WE are brothers and sisters united in our FREEDOM, we had HONOR for our great Nation. We stood side by side PROUD of  who we are. Color did not matter, race did not matter, sexual prefrence did not matter, MONEY did not matter, age did not matter, NOTHING mattered but that WE WERE AMERICANS and I look forward to the day when we can all be there again.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Big & Rich GNO!!!

So if it has been 5 years since you had a Girls Night Out... You do it right, RIGHT?!?


And man did I ever!!!

I started with this crazy gal. 
And YES those are curlers in her hair! She was worried that her hair wouldn't keep a curl so we fixed it right before we got to OKLAHOMA! Which since she is a speed demon (15 miles over the speed limit all the way and it was a 75 MPH to start with!!!!) it didn't take near as long as Google Maps said it would!  My hair almost went straight out of FEAR! NO SERIOUSLY!!!!


Doesn't she look pretty! She was so excited  because in just a few minutes we were picking up our ......


To go and meet and talk WITH
 these GUYS (and gal) and boy was he a cutie! 
Doesn't she look so happy! 

Me and My Drink of choice!
Which is a good thing because SOME ONE had to drive us home and by the time "He"
 was done performing, along with this guy,
And she was done dancing

 ( I mean you have to dance to "SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY" right!) 
I sure did! ;)

She was this! LOL
Which meant that I was driving home!  
Which also meant I would arrive home in one piece!
So Long story short me and about this many 
people had a BIG & RICH time! So ladies I ask you.... DO I KNOW HOW TO HAVE A GNO or WHAT????

Sunday, August 21, 2011

SOOOOOO You're a Drake not a Duck... Opps!

As I am soaking up the sun rays in my pool and  feeling sorry for myself due to my dying garden(thanks to our 3 digit weather)  I hear all kinds of ruckus going on with the ducks. First thought is that something got in the duck area again! And me without my gun.... great!

NOPE! Instead I apparently interrupted some private time!  Surprise MOM!!!
it seems that Cali is on top of Freckles and all the others ducks are making this strange noise ( i didn't know they did that, little exhibitionist.)  YES I am a little    S...L...O...W     at getting it  
(don't judge... this was shock!)

 OHHHH ok!!!!

now it all  makes sense!  Cali always seemed to be in charge ( here I thought her a bossy little girl....) and the others just more timid. NOPE the company I ordered my GIRL ducks from sent me a drake!
 So "Cali" is now "Cal"

  AND  it seems "he" and Freckles have decided they are an item. 
 Well they are cute together...

Well it seems I will get some little ducklings after all and HONESTLY who can resist those little balls of fluff with big feet ???   Not me!
However I may need a BIGGER duck house!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Me and My Milking Bad Self

So when I started this little adventure I thought it would be a cake walk, seriously how hard could providing milk for your family be? Well with Ali it has been interesting to say the least. I love my little girl but she can be such a  pain stinker and there is so much more to milking then you think. NO SERIOUSLY!!!  So just to help you out here is the easy 7 steps required!

Step 1. Get up nice and early (and try not be a witch) because that is when the milking is done (and if you ever breast feed your babies you KNOW what is like to have milk building in the breast and  not being able to feed... PAINFUL...same for a goat) and the rooster crows anyway!

Step 2. Get out the milking pail and clean cloth (without running your half sleeping self into the chair one of your children left in the way..... thanks again guys!)

Step 3. Get grain and goat to cooperate and get on milking stand while keeping baby goat away and in the pen. 
(and though MOST mornings Ali makes this a simple task there are some when it seems like I actually have to pick up said 105 lb goat and put her on there while keeping baby goat (Zoie) back with one foot... I truly think this would make an entertaining video someday.... perhaps I can talk someone into getting up and taping it for you all... DOUBTFUL but I could try )
and lock in her head.

Step 4. Wipe down milk bag, underside and get stared at by goat who is not happy with you messing with her underside while she is trying to eat her breakfast.... ok I can't really blame her, after all who wants a morning bath while trying to eat?

Step 5. MILK.... this is the  simple task of now pulling on teats and getting the milk to come out. One teat then the other, over and over and over again and over again!

Step 6. Bring in milk and set up jar, funnel and filter said milk (no one wants a stray Ali hair in their cereal!)

Step 7. Clean and sanitize all items used and prepare to do it again tomorrow. (I only milk once a day now so baby goat can get what she needs)

So that is the morning process and the REWARD when I started this adventure....
That's right one stupid TBSP of milk. All that work. and this is what I get???   So back to the books I go and here is what I found out. THERE IS SO MUCH TO THIS THAT I DIDN'T KNOW that I didn't KNOW!!!!

But am I one to just give up, admit defeat or that I was wrong still had more to learn???  


So day after day, new trick after new trick and this is now my reward...

 Woot WOOT!

Yep that is right from this to this! 

So do I now admit this was much harder then I EVER imagined it would be, that early mornings aren't really my thing.... MAYBE..(to myself) but in the mean time I am going to brag just a little about me and my milking bad self! Well of course my girl as well,  my sweet patient girl.... she knew WE could do this all along...
Ok I know I look  horrible  in the am. BUT HEY.. it truly is toooooo EARLY to care, but isn't my Ali beautiful, she never has to worry about not looking her best so jealous!

Friday, August 5, 2011

I'm Back!!! And Ready to Confess!

Well it is that lovely time of day to let it all out... and after hmmmm  (what is it 3or more months) I am ready to confess! 

I confess... that having my parents living with me has taken some gettting use to adjusting, but I am really glad they are here. I like having time with them and they are such a big help with things around here! But I will also be happy for them when they are able to have their own space again.

I confess... I am so so so  ready for school to start... not really because my kids are driving me crazy (ok maybe just a little bit) but just so I can be  back on schedule again as well. I have been more of a BUM this summer then any other I can think of!

I confess.... that I love AQUA ZUMBA... ( i know you want me.... you know I wan't cha ...) and I  CAN'T get the songs out my head!

I confess... I love having a tan line!!! I have a body right now with 2 different colors... I know YUCK right? But not for me. I love it! I have taken time to get a tan! Woot Woot!

I confess... that this swimsuit contest. has been a little nerve wracking... I really would like to win since I want to use the money to take my kiddo's on a vacation
but I am the oldest one there and that is a lot of competition!  But all the lovely comments I have received have also really boosted the self esteem! Go women over 40! We still got it!

I confess... that when someone noted on my pic that I looked like I did nothing but laid around all day on the beach that I laughed out loud. Like seriously my mom was looking at me like I lost it... yet again!    If only she could have seen me with sweat pooring down my face just 20 minutes earlier cleaning out my goat barn and chicken coop! OH if that poor girl only knew the truth how disappointed she would be!

I confess... that if one more person calls me a NOT  "real mom". I am going to load up my 4 teens and ship them to their house for a week... (maybe 2) AND  I might just throw in the goat, chickens, ducks and dogs to boot!!!  ;)

Well there you have it.. my confessions... Can't wait to READ yours.... So join up with

Monday, August 1, 2011

Please Vote for Me and Check these out

Hapari Swimwear Logo
Ok Ladies so you have already heard me talk about these suits once before but here I go again these are so great and now I am in their contest. That's right they are having a contest for models and I passed the first stage. So if you don't mind head over and check them out and while you are there vote for me. You have to like the page and then click on my pic. They will decide who wins but the more likes I have the more I stand out. 


Hapari Swimwear was founded when a couple of designer moms put their heads together to try to solve all the problems found in a traditional swimsuit. Unhappy with the available options—it seemed impossible to find a swimsuit that was both flattering and stylish—they decided to create a line of swimwear that real women would love to put on. From that beginning Hapari has seen incredible growth, largely thanks to our commitment to provide quality, modest swimwear that help women everywhere feel beautiful and confident.
One piece suits are especially made to enhance the curves you love while downplaying those you don’t.
Most women have trouble with their midsection, but Hapari’s exclusive Tummy Tuk bottoms can be your little secret for tummy coverage and containment. All of Hapari’s tankinis and one pieces are made with secret pockets sewn into the breast area that can be fitted with our Illusions silicone enhancements that will supplement your curves. Our S.O.S. tankinis feature the same gorgeous prints as our other suits, but are built with an underwire directly into the suit to give you added support where you need it most.

In the last year alone, Hapari has seen a 137% growth through online sales. We know this would not be possible without our loyal customers who share the good news about Hapari’s shape saving secrets with their friends and family. With our women’s swimwear line, an expanding line of plus size swimwear, junior’s and girl’s sizing, and men’s and boy’s swim trunks, Hapari is poised to remain at the top of the swimsuit game for years to come. 
That shows how great their product and customer service truly is!

Hapari caught my eye with an ad I saw on someone's blog, and immediately I had to check out the rest of their site! And I am so glad I did. Most swimsuits can be worn 3 ways so you get to to choose! They offer a great variety of styles... for every body type.
Raspberry Ice Twist Bikini Swimwear
Retro V-Neck Tankini Swimwear
Hapari Girl Ruffle One Piece Swimsuit
Open sided one pieces as well as

Island Fever Sport One Piece Swimsuit
Sport one pieces

So check them out and thanks again for taking the time to vote for me!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Toss Your Expectations Into the Ocean

So lately I have not been myself... letting myself get stressed and depressed and not being able to figure out why... now stress and depressed that just seems to happen sometimes....BUT not being able to figure out my next move.... that is the one that has thrown me for a loop. And then like an answer from heaven
I got this great email from "Zen Habits" and there it was.... my answer!

To realize that all my stress, frustration, disappointment, anger, irritation, pissed-offedness comes from one little thing? ME!!!  I have been setting myself up for all of this without even realizing it by MY expectations... of myself and mostly of others. I build up all these expectations in my head of what other people should do, what my life should be like, how other people should behave
and yet it’s all fantasy. It’s not real.

 It is in my mind...

So here is my plan... I am going to take ALL my expectations, and throw them in the ocean.

Wanting a parent to act like a parent instead of friend isn't going to happen, and there is nothing I can do to make it happen so I am picking that one up and throwing it into the ocean (ok I don't have an ocean but my pond!)

Wanting a lazy teen to stop acting like a prima donna that she  has become and thinking I can control it is crazy!

Wanting another to get it together and realizing that partying all the time isn't going to make life better but harder... another expectation I need to let go! PLOP!

Wanting my parents to have control over their lives instead of giving it all away to a dream that may or may not happen.   
Bye!Bye... these are things I can not control, these are things I am not meant to control... these are trials I am not meant to fix or CONTROL. There are things in life that I have to let others learn.

SO I am going  to picture  all the expectations I have for myself, my life, my MR, my kids, and the world.
Pick up an expectation and let it go... watching the rippling effects as it is carried away... never to be mine again.
I am going to let them go, I am going to stop letting my expectations control my life.

NOW I will live my life without them.

I will accept reality as it is, without trying to force people into MY way of thinking, my way of parenting, my way of handling a situation.... . 

Life where I am  NOT disappointed or frustrated or angry because people aren't living the way I want them to. So hard but so worth it if I can learn to walk in a world excepting  people for who they are. Doing what I do because  it is what I want to do, not because I expect something in return. Accepting how things are not the way I want them to be. It will take some time to learn this new behavior and make it happen but I am determined to do it.


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

6 Ugly Little Letters

I sit here waiting and wondering how 6 little ugly letters can change a life. The word they create brings so much sorrow, fear, and worry.

CANCER... such a ugly little word.

It can take a beautiful life and turn it upside down and inside out. And that is what I have watched it do to our Aunt V. Not that she shows it with complaints or even in attitude. She is strong  She isn't one of these little blue haired ladies that sits and lets life slowly drift by, her hair is more of a steel gray as if to rebel against the fact that she is 82 and until 3 months ago she led her fellow ladies at their exercise group. She took walks every morning before most the rest of us were up. Now she can't even attend the class let alone lead it.

She has gone from 135 lbs to 117 lbs and looks much weaker then I have ever seen her look. She faces everything head on. The chemo (which was with pills) has really taken it's toll. Swelling her mouth and tongue, giving her a rash and making her head itch. But now they say the tumor has not grown and she starts radiation.

The radiation should (we cross our fingers) kill this evil thing!  6 weeks of Monday through Friday of radiation. Hitting that evil thing with an intense laser and hoping and praying it is destroyed. Today she gets her permanent tattoo's. ( I tease her that I knew she was rebel and always wanted tattoo's, and she laughs and scolds me ) 3 of them to forever mark her body and show the fight she has started. This is so the machine knows exactly where to hit each time it enters her body.

Well Cancer you may have started this fight but I wonder if you know who you are against. Fight Aunt V will. She may be "old" because the clock of Father Time says so but you don't know how strong that body, mind and will are. She will fight so she can feed her ducks, and remind of us times gone by. She will fight because that is who she is. A fighter. And if she stops trying to fight I will pick her up and remind her how much we love her and why she needs to continue to fight. Cancer you may have your 6 ugly little letters but we still have our 4 beautiful ones... HOPE and with that we will not give up!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

If Someone Would Have Told Me 3 Years Ago....

If someone had told me 3 years ago that I would wake each morning at 6 am to go and milk goats, feed and water chickens,ducks and spend time weeding and caring for my garden each day, AND then repeat the same routine (i am horrible with schedules) at 6 pm each night. I truly would have laughed at them, called them crazy and excused myself for a nap!
Just the thought of it would have exhausted me! 
But it is true. 
This is my life each day. AND I LOVE IT!!!!

When I look in the mirror anymore it is strange as the girl looking back is not the girl I used to be.
But I like her! 
I like her messy hair, and muddy boots. I like the sun glow she has from working in the yard. And I tell you there is nothing better then goat kisses... REALLY!
(You ought to get one.
To have that kind of love from an animal is amazing. Yes I have always had that from my dogs, but goats are just a little more of surprise.

I still LoVe beautiful things. I have just found myself finding more beauty in watching ducks splash in pond, seeing little plants breaking the ground and bring forth food for my family. And watching them do things that make me laugh and surprise me. I mean really have you ever seen a goat steal your daughter Popsicle? I have!

And the look on her face was great! I must have laughed half the day! What a feeling!

I still like make up and fixing myself up, but it is more of a special me time now then "this is my routine" but I feel healthy, and strong. And I feel more beautiful then I ever have. More comfortable with who "I" am. And my Mr. still thinks I am sexy! lol

Instead of working out in the gym I move hay, turn over my compost, clean out barns, rototiller my garden. Instead of getting my nails done and keeping them from breaking I feel the wonderfulness of dirt and digging. It is such a wonderful life I am blessed with. Each day I get to sit outside and just take in the beauty of
God's design, 
 of his creatures,
and his peace. 
I am amazed at much I used to miss.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

StorkBrokers... What a great idea!

Ok why is that all these wonderful sites come out after my kids are teens! If you have little one's or are a grand parent you have to check this out!

A great one stop shop(here)     Because we all know how quickly they grow! So instead of storing all those old gently used items or worse yet tripping over toys your child no LONGER plays with( you can forget about ebay or worse yet preparing for a garage sale) and list them here! .

You can also put in an item you are searching for and they will hunt it down for you... SO easy.. So try it out today and let me know what you think. As a BZZZ agent I like hearing back so I can report according to your experience.