Thursday, July 31, 2014

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

WOW Have I really been gone that long?

I used to love to blog! Get my words out there and share my thoughts. 
Was anyone else really
them anyway?
 I doubt it.

 But it didn't matter they were out there floating in the www. 

And then like most things I love, I stopped.
 I let anything, everything and nothing get in the way.
I am the queen of excuses..
Oh the kids need me...
Not really the only one home now is Ari... 

Oh the animals need me... not really... they are actually quite easy to take care of...

 Oh my job.. NOT REALLY... you can't have an easier boss or job than I am blessed with.
 I mean REALLY
 I just stop.. I am never sure why?  Not that I don't have a full life, but why wouldn't I want to share my experiences? Share my journey, with even just me if that is all that ever sees it
 I guess what I am saying is "HELLO www" I am back!
 Have you missed me?

When You Have To Admit The Truth Even To Yourself

Don't you hate when the truth of something that you would rather deny hits you upside the head? Tonight that happened to me. The truth being I am lazy! Man I hate that word..But it FITS! I am really ashamed of that fact but I think it is time to own up to the truth. YEP I am lazy!

 What a horrible thing to have to admit.
 Especially to yourself

 But tonight as the Mr and I were enjoying our dinner, I realized it took me all of maybe 30 minutes of my day to save us easily $30 to $40  that eating out would have cost us. $40 for 30 minutes of my time. I mean most people myself included have to work 3 to 4 hours to make that!

So that got me to asking the dreaded question...???  
"Honey how much do you think we spend a month eating out, with the kids and just us" The reply was horrifying  embarrassing shocking (though my lazy butt already knew it) 
"Oh about somewhere between $400 and $500 a month" 

WHAT... Seriously! How ridiculous am I?!?
 I guess the better question being how spoiled and lazy am I? 
 I am so ashamed.
  It's not like I am a bad cook, actually I am a  good cook As a matter of fact the Mr. is always saying he likes my cooking more then most of the places we eat! And  I have lots of food to make though much of it gets tossed out to the animals (which they love)  due to being not used  in a  timely manner or end up in the compost. The intention is always good when I buy it, but the laziness... oh the laziness!


   How can  I have of been so wasteful when God has blessed me with so much! What kind of example am I setting for my kids! The shame!  I mean seriously I work hard to make sure my family has the best I can provide.
 I make my own cleaning products and  laundry products. I only buy meat from a local farmer, have chickens for eggs (and soon poultry), dairy goats for milk,buy fresh fruits and veggies when out of season and I can't grow them myself. Make my own soaps, and other beauty products And I do this to not only to make sure I know what my family is using and eating but to save $$$ and then I create this kind of personal waste!

 I mean I have NO idea where the meat or products these fast food restaurants or dinning establishments
 use is coming from. I am so picky in what I buy and then I trot off with my family to use, eat whatever.

 I vow here and now to turn over a new leaf.

 I have all these wonderful recipes in PINTEREST that I am going to organize and start using. I am going to become the chef, the homemaker I always wanted to be. I can do this. It means less time being lazy, not so much hulu, not so much FB and a little more planning on my part but I know I can do this.

I will make a different recipe each night for the next week (except for our one monthly date night) and either keep the recipe or let it go. I might even blog about each one. Well I guess that is it. I just had to put in writing so I can hold myself accountable. What do you do to make sure your family gets good home cooked meals or save with the family budget?

Friday, February 8, 2013

Time to CONFESS... Friday

It's Friday... time to confess...

  *It has been a long LONG time since my last confession

* I have missed it

* I like reading other peoples confessions... They make me laugh!

* I brought the cat in.. when the Mr finds out I am DEAD!

* Hope HE doesn't read this!

* I need to get stronger.. she was there at the back door looking at me with those sweet little eyes and I just caved... I am in so much trouble!

* She is a barn cat.. NOT a house cat... and this could be my last confession!

* I will miss reading every ones confessions :(

* If I wind up dead the Mr. did it! I am buried in the back yard.. Please put flower out there oh and if we get a pig all of sudden that is how he got rid of me! YUCK! 

* I watch to much BONES... Usually when I am eating... I think I have issues...

* I need to go take care of the animals.. It is COLD outside and MY bed is warm with the cat all snugly! We agree I am dead but SHE thinks it is worth it!

* This is very weird since I have NEVER been a cat person... but she is cute and sweet and I have got to get a backbone when it comes to the animals!

* The rooster has been crowing for hours NOW and if I don't let him and the girls out soon I will have hell to pay!

* I hate the cold!

Well that is my confession today... come play along and link up!Link up and confess!

No Regrets?!?

Have you ever thought about what the above words mean? I had a " AH HA" moment the other day over just those words and found it very... frustrating, eye opening moment I guess. I was talking to the Mr. and we were having one of those moments when you are talking about nothing but then it gets serious real quick.
 (Kind of like driving down the road enjoying the scenery and BLAMO  you find yourself hit head on, and you sit back and wonder" how the heck did that happen?"  I was talking about
Like "If I were young again what I would do differently?"
  Regrets, things I wish I could take back or change so the outcome would be different. And I turn to him and ask"What regrets do you have honey?" And the Mr. replys, 
 Seriously that was his answer! NONE!!! Well because I have been hurt by some not so great choices throughout our 13 years together  I was pissed angry, hurt and astonished that he would say such a thing. I mean doesn't  EVERYONE have regrets?

  So as I felt the temperature of the car change..
 Mainly mine!

 I started thinking about his answer which was simply, "If I hadn't done, been or traveled down the road I have I wouldn't be here, in this time, this place".  I thought about that answer for a couple of days and in doing so I realized, Isn't that what it is all about? Wasn't HIS answer the correct one?

 The HARD kind, the kind that makes you wish you could just get through it. 

 Break through and see the sun shinning down on you again.

 It is the kind that makes you STRONG when the whole world seems to be crumbling around you. When you have to say goodbye to something or someone you love, when you have to find that inner strength to keep walking even though you are tired or worn. 

Could you imagine how BORING our lives would be if every time we had a regret we could just rewind, go back or  start over. What would you have missed out on?What lesson would you have NOT learned? 
What growth would have escaped YOU?
 So as much as wish I had never hurt someone, or lied, or let someone (including myself) down I am so GRATEFUL for the lessons I have learned. For the person I am becoming because of those lessons.
 So I guess I finally get it... 
No regrets just lessons LEARNED...  not having that opportunity to me would be the biggest regret I think we could ever have.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

10 Things Home Steading Has Taught Me

Well it has been almost 3 years since I started this journey of  Homesteading and here is what I have now learned.

1. If you don't like HARD WORK don't homestead!
 Homesteading is WORK! Very Hard work!

2. Poo is no longer disgusting!  That' right,when you shovel it, move it, step in it, compost it, IT just becomes another something you deal with. I no longer smell it, or get sick by it. Which surprises me since I used to get sick to my stomach with just butt humor
Still don't get that but at least it doesn't make me sick anymore.

3. Chickens sing! YES that is right they sing, and it such a sweet sound!
 Kind of like a cat purring, they walk around just happy and singing. 
 Makes ME Smile  :)

And speaking of CATS.... Brings me to #4

4. Never say never! Yep I now have a barn cat. See that girl holding that little girl yep she did it. She talked me into the impossible. We NOW have a barn CAT.  It seems like when you have one animal, it just seems more doesn't seem to be that big of a deal .... what's one more?
 Welcome to the family Azreal...
 YOU are such a sweet girl and we are happy you are here.

5. Predators and Dark wait for NO one! It doesn't matter if you daughter is receiving a special award that night, and the person presenting is taking FOREVER! Nor does it matter if you have a late night work dinner. When it gets dark you better be home, (even if that means 4:30pm in the middle of winter) or be willing to pay kids to put your animals away.  

6.   Animals that are supposed to be wild, can be very tame. .

Lexi one of our chickens thinks that the MR. is her best friend. She follows him, talks to him, and defends him from the dogs and likes to use him as a roost. Pretty funny to see how chickens can decide that you belong to them Even though the MR. says it isn't so...
  I think she wins!

7. If you like things all in order, and nothing out of place, then HOMESTEADING is not for you! There is always a new "project" you will be working on. Something that you can always improve or try!

 8.Your animals depend on you. It doesn't matter how cold or hot it is, it doesn't matter if you don't feel good, they need you! They count on you, they are as helpless as a new born without you. So don't just get them because they are cute when they are little. They deserve your best so if you are going to have them you need to commit.

9. When you want to go somewhere, leave things behind. FORGET IT! There is no just leaving, last minute road trips are a thing of the past. BUT with careful planning and a great Mother In Law you can get away for a little while. Make sure it isn't for LONG....... But every once in a while you have to take a little break.. and after all the hard work... YOU deserve it!

10. Homesteading is an adventure. And as much as you have to deal with the hard stuff, meet deadlines, and make sacrifices AND  it is SOOOO worth it! I am learning so much about myself, finding joy in things I never thought I would and I don't regret a single moment of it!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

My Wish For 2013

Wow did this year pass by fast. So many new and exciting things, some painful, some scary and so much growth. Hard to believe a new year is here so fast, but as each year starts I say a little prayer and make a little wish for each of those I love most, and this year here is my wish for each of you,

Tyler my beautiful boy, For you I wish "DIRECTION". It seems that the age that you are has so much confusion, so much excitement to blind you and let you forget who YOU are. So much lies ahead for your future. Real  love, finding your own voice, finding what you really want out of life!  You seem so lost and tossed about by what other people think, or want and need from you. Sometimes I worry you hear them more then you. So sweet boy, I hope you find your direction, your place in this big world and you take that course that is going to bring you inner peace and make your life what you desire it to be.You deserve it Son! You deserve all the desires of your heart but they are not going to "just come to you" you have to find a path and walk it... a direction that will start you to so many wonderful things. I love you.

KC'lynn my beautiful girl, For you I wish "COURAGE". So much lies ahead of you soon. I am so excited for all the journeys you are about to start. I hope you will leave old things behind, at least for a while and take the adventure of figuring out who YOU are. Making a time that is all about you, for you. It is the only time in woman's life that she can truly do that and not be selfish and I hope you will. I can't wait to help you pack for college, get late night calls of excitement or loneliness and hear how you are making your life your own. All those things that you leave behind, fears, friendships, loves will follow you in away. They have made you who are and the ones that are to be your future will still be there when you are ready. Those that aren't will be gentle reminders of shaping you into the woman you are meant to be. So my darling girl go forth with courage and take on the world. Let no one, thing or fear stop you. You have everything you need and I am here to cheer you on always. I love you.

Ari my strong, amazing girl, For you I wish "FUN". You are so amazing. You truly leave me sometimes wondering what I can teach you. You are so strong, so sure of yourself, detailed, motivated and sometimes I worry you are to much so at such a young age. I don't want you to look back on these years and have regrets because you took life so serious, because you felt you had to do so much in so little time. Sweetie take some time to breathe, to be silly, to do things that are for no other reason then enjoy them. Slow down, take lots of time to laugh, time to play. You will be an adult soon enough with all the requirements that will weigh you down. So don't try to hard, don't stress yourself out to much. Every once in while just have some fun. You deserve it, you have earned it and sometimes just being FUN is it's own reward. I love you.

Lizzie my sweet girl, For you I wish "QUIET" Sometimes I feel as though you are go, go go. I love that you are out there to experience everything life has to offer but sometimes I worry that you will miss hearing your own voice because you are always surrounded by noise. Music in your ears, fingers typing away on your phone, running from one place to another. I am thrilled that you find so much excitement, and so many people to make your life exciting but every once in while I would like to see you quiet, hearing your own voice, learning to know it and trust it more then other peoples noise. At some point in your life that is going to be a life saver. So sweet girl slow down, quiet yourself and the noise around you occasionally and just listen to you. Your own voice is truly the sweetest sound you can know, she has a lot to say if you listen. I love you.

My Mr. my love, For you I wish "FAITH" I wish you to find the peace you search for by learning how to believe again. I see you worry about the future and I know you do it because of your love for your family but darling have faith. Know that all the things we try to control are truly not in our control. Find that inner peace by believing and having faith in things that are bigger then you or anything will ever be. Have faith that the habits that can seem to run you can be conquered. Have faith that with Gods help you can be all that you desire to be. That you can have the captain in control. There are so many great things about you, so many things we can all learn from you. I love you.

Brad, my dearest friend, For you I wish  more of what I said last year, but since it is your request that not be my wish, I wish you "POSSIBILITIES" in all things. New starts. new relationships, new opportunities, new adventures. You deserve all these things. You are a good person and I feel at times you are missing out on so many great things, because you have been hurt by others, myself included and I hope that will change. That you will take life and make it all the things it should be for you. That you will find all those things you have been going without and that you will embrace all the possibilities that I know the world has for you. You are so dear to me and I want to see you happy.

Rachel, yes you! For you I wish you "STRENGTH" I wish you the strength for all that may lie ahead. That you have all that will be required of you to lead your family, to be an example for your children. To do those things which scare the hell out of you and know that you are strong enough if need be. That you will prevail in all things if you don't try to do it alone. That great things lie ahead and that you are in control of your destiny and your life. That though the walk at times may seem it will destroy you, it will not. You have been brought to this time and become who you are because you have more inside you then you know. And that many great things lie ahead if you use the strength required to get them.

To all my extended FAMILY and FRIENDS, I wish you a year of great things, I wish you health, peace and prosperity, I wish you new beginnings, fresh starts, continued loves and all the great things God has in store for each of you. Thank you for the blessings you are to me, for the things I have learned from each of you this last year, for the kindness you have shown me or my family, for the tears you wiped, for the cheering you have done, for the laughter you have given me or those I love. Thank you for all you mean to me or those I love most. HAPPY NEW YEAR! MAY 2013 BE A GREAT ONE FOR US ALL!!!